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  • Writer's pictureMeg

And So It Begins...

The most chaotic "welcome to my blog" post you'll ever read.

SEO wants a keyword? more like peeword.

I guess this post should have a theme, hey? It was going to be a welcome post, to new readers and possibly even old readers from the years when I wrote a blog with my best friend, but now I don’t want to write a welcome post. Go figure.

Toddler in a halloween costume early 2000's
A young Meg, dressed in a homemade princess(?) costume sometime in the early 00's.

Let's just get right into it.

I believe I have something called “pathological demand avoidance” or PDA. If you know me, you know I love to diagnose myself and people with conditions, but I also think I’m pretty good at it. I’ve identified over five people I know well in my life with things that they eventually got a professional diagnosis from. I’m not saying I’m a psychologist or anything, but it is indeed on of my special interests.

So PDA is this thing where a person avoids or ignores anything that they perceive to be a demand. So as soon as I tell myself I should be writing, I immediately don’t want to write. I should go to bed, “but this is the most active my brain has been all day!”

And as soon as I get distracted from my thoughts, or my fingers cant keep up with my thoughts, I lose momentum. I go back and reread to try to get the same inspiration that just left my thoughts but I lost that too. And it all happens when I cant find the right way to word something. That makes it pretty hard to be a writer. Which is why I don’t think I’m meant to write novels. Maybe I’m just meant to write this blog.

I’ve been playing a lot of God of War lately, and it talks an awful lot about fate and prophecy. I think I’ve been pretty focused on what my fate will be, hence why I’m starting a blog which will soon be known as my quarter-life crisis. Oh, Meg started a blog? I hope she’s okay. Didn’t she have a Twitch channel?

I also have this crazy notion in my head that if I’m not writing my novel, my writing doesn't count. Somehow, this isn't honing my craft. The reason it’s crazy is because I hardly get anything done when I work on my novel. Because I think I’ve exhausted the idea. I’m just digging myself deeper and deeper in the story that I cant see where the hole begins anymore.

Another thing that stops me from being a world class writer and blogger and novelist and published poet is that I keep trying to fit myself into these formulas. I’m so enamoured with structure and form because my brain feels like it naturally has none. My brain feels like a whirlpool, where I pluck ideas from the edge each time I come around and I ride that idea until I get to the center of it and its gone forever into the hole until I pluck a new one and follow that and so on and so forth.

I have a tendency to use a lot of hole metaphors.

So this is my attempt to not follow any form. Just let my brain churn out its thoughts into the abyss that is the internet. This is a numbers game baby and I just want to get these WORDS DOWN.

The Point is...

Welcome to my Blog! It’s going to be a bumpy ride and if anyone wants to come along, I can drive stick and I’ll be posting new ‘content’ every Friday that I can.

Also if you haven't already you should go play God of War: Ragnarök (not sponsored I STG) cause it’s so good and has made me sad cry, happy cry, mad cry, all the crying genres.

May the Allfather guide you,

Love Meg



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